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Registered: Sep 2001
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<?php
/**
* PHPoem #3
* The Big Picture
*
* @author Kasper Skårhøj <kasper@typo3.com>
* Freely interpreted from The Holy Bible
*/
// *******************************************************
// INITIALIZATION, 6 days:
// In the beginning The Programmer
// created the heavens and the earth.
//
// Notice:
// This initialization is outside the scope of what is
// possible within the main loop later on. So don't try
// to explain it away by your limited knowledge!
// *******************************************************
// First a series of creation acts. Abbreviated version.
echo "Let there be light\n"; //...and there was light
echo "Let there be an expanse between the waters
to separate water from water.\n"; // And it was so.
echo "Let the land produce vegetation:
seed-bearing plants and trees on the land
that bear fruit with seed in it.\n"; // And it was so.
echo "Let there be lights in the expanse of
the sky to separate the day from the night.\n";
echo "Let the water teem with living creatures,
and let birds fly above the earth.\n";
echo "Let the land produce living creatures
according to their kinds.\n"; // And it was so.
// Then to the masterpiece, man and woman:
echo "Let us make man in our image,
in our likeness.\n"; // So The Programmer created man in his own image!
// $man is passed by reference here.
// "free will" is necessary - but risky - because true love requires it.
implementFreeWill(&$man["Adam"],&$man["Eve"]);

// The Programmer saw all that he had made, and it was very good.
// At this point the initialization is finished
// and The Programmer took a nap:
sleep(1*24*3600); // The 7th day
// **************************************************
// WARNING:
// An internal, evil-minded process has rebelled here
// and makes the following execution HIGHLY unstable!
// The predicted effects on the environment will be
// like email-viruses in disguise as apparently innocent
// offers. DON'T ACCEPT SUCH OFFERS!
// **************************************************
// ***************************************************
// MAIN loop, endless:
//
// This is the originally intended loop of the program.
// Although the actual main loop is done in the exception
// handler this loop represents the true intention of
// The Programmer from the beginning.
// **************************************************
while(1==1) {
// Living life to the fullest:
// This is the perfect, stable state of this application
// The only requirement is, that any email-virus is NOT opened!
liveLifeForever();

// This would truely be a sad thing, if that happend...:
if (virusFromEvilProcessOpened()) {
// If this happens, the Evil Process must have succeeded
// to interfere with the objects inside the main loop
break;
}

// The Programmer sustains the creation supernaturally:
doMaintenance();
}
// ***************************************************
// TEMPORARY loop - emergency plan:
//
// About this state, The Programmer says:
//
// Since you are here, you must have opened the email-
// virus I warned you against!
// Because I did warn you and you were tempted by
// the Evil Process to open in anyway, I had to break the
// eternal loop to be consistent with my promise.
//
// However I will initiate an emergency plan, which
// will eventually clean up the system, kill the virus and
// reinstate the eternal loop.
// This plan will be revealed in the code below:
// **************************************************
// ****************************************************************
// First: This changes the environmental settings to "Curse-state":
// ****************************************************************

// Maintenance withdrawn.
// By stopping the automatic maintenance all objects
// will age by time and finally die out.
// Previously in the eternal loop, this did not happen.
haltAutomaticMaintenance();
// Make other changes to the initial rules of the system
changePhysicalLawsAsNeeded();
// Adapt objects to the new situation:
accommodateObjectsToCurse();
// The connection from The Programmer to the loop is severely
// scrambled as well.
// Most likely the objects (men) inside the loop will not
// recognize the existence of the Programmer due to this
// "lack of proof of existence".
reduceSpiritualSignalStrength();
// ****************************************************************
// Second: The new loop is configured:
// ****************************************************************
// The actual length of the loop is not known for certain.
// It's at least 6000 years, but obviously longer yet, because we're
// still within the temporary loop.
$tempLoopLifeSpan=6000;
// Prepare array for instruction. Popularly called "The Bible".
$manual=array();
// Temp loop:
for($a=0; $a<$tempLoopLifeSpan; $a++) {

// This executes the living of life under the new
// limited circumstances of the temporary loop:
liveExceptionHandler();

// This adds instructions to the manual during the loop as needed.
// This is the ultimate info-booth with authoritative answers
if ($a<4000) {
addInstructionsDuringLifeSpan(&$manual);
}
// IMPORTANT break point in the loop:
// After approximately 4000 loops the secret weapon
// is revealed here: Jesus Christ
if ($a==4000) {
introduceJesusChrist(); // Christ was born
}
if ($a==4030) {
// The MAIN event is here!
// Christ was unset at this point by the "man" objects
// (The actual method called was 'doCrusify("Christ")' ),
// but The Programmer intervened and un-did this action!
// This was indeed an unusual and supernatural thing to do!
// By doing that The Programmer initiated Christ's status
// as an abstraction layer that would present a clean
// interface of any object calling the method
// acceptChrist() no matter how messy the object was
// internally.
//
// The point was, that if the "man" objects is to
// persist all the way into the future eternal loop,
// they must be "clean". However this is not possible
// by any inherent methods, so The Programmer introduced
// the acceptChrist() method by calling resurrectChristFromTheDead()
//
// And after this point in the loop, any "man" object
// calling acceptChrist() will also exist in the future
// eternal loop!
// So easy and ingenious that many has tried to make
// it more complicate unfortunately.

resurrectChristFromTheDead();
// New rules for getting into eternal loop is applied
applyNewRules();
}
if ($a>4030 && $a>4110) {
// This adds description of the new rules for
// the rest of the loop:
addInstructionsDuringLifeSpan(&$manual);
}


}
// ***************************************************
// ETERNAL LOOP reinstated:
//
// This part of the program is not known yet.
// But I assure you it will be ready in time.
// The only question is how many of the "man" objects
// that will enter the new loop. This depends on their
// own free will to call the method acceptChrist()
//
// One thing I'm very exited about is to experience the
// original eternal loop running again.
// But I also wonder how The Programmer will manage to
// prevent processes from becoming evil like it happend
// in the first place. That is a mystery
// we will see solved later on.
//
// If anyone wants to know more about the API of the
// acceptChrist() method, I have a lot of links to good
// resources. Just mail me: kasper@typo3.com
//
// May The Programmer fill your internal $joy-array this Easter!
// - kasper
//
// **************************************************
?>

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